This is a burning question, one we all face from time to time. The simplest answer to this is a firm NO, and there are many reasons for this. Success doesn’t have to be measured in substantial terms, and not at all in the ones created by others. You need to set your own standards to stay away from the vicious rut of why-others-have –more.
How is success measured today
Comparing your success to others isn’t fair on your part. For some, the trail to success has been easier while for others they burned the midnight oil to get there. In today’s world success is mainly measured by the accumulation and display of wealth, and that is okay for some people.
As mentioned earlier, the definition of success is different for everyone. Many people find their success in a happy and hearty family because money for them isn’t a priority. They rather work towards the goal of creating and maintaining a closely-knit family. Similarly, many people consider waking up every day with a sane mind and working limbs as success. If we live by this definition, many of us have already succeeded in life.
When we talk about comparing our success to others, we need to understand that every one of us has been given a divergent time frame, with dissimilar resources to begin with to gain success. If wealth is a measure of success, not everyone has the fortune of being born with a silver spoon. Some are lucky enough to be born in a family that makes them wealthy by birth, no matter if they don’t work a bit for it. While others do not have similar privileges to help them sustain through life.
Is this comparison beneficial
These two contrasting facts can never and should never be compared. Those who fall in the second category have to work harder to make themselves fit in the first category slot. There is no way for them to beat around the bush. Being from the second slot, they unconsciously compare their success to the rich ones who come from wealthy backgrounds. This is indeed demoralizing.
A person who wakes up to work towards the worldly parameters of success that he wasn’t born into, should be proud of his accomplishments, no matter how small they seem. He is striving for things that are not given to him, and he goes into the world to make them happen.
How to become successful
If you want to be successful, identify your talent. Discover the purpose of your existence. Find out the answer to your WHY. Maybe you are born with an innate talent or skill that needs to be discovered.
Your perception of yourself is the most complex thing you can ever imagine. Just like you cannot see your nose, you are often blinded to the things that you are best at. Your brightest talents are concealed at spots you can least imagine, making their identification difficult. Often you are best at things you perceive yourself as bad at. There are many reasons for you to explore your innate skills, but they will take some time and effort.
You may want to try out new things to explore your talent and skillset. Some people love dancing, singing, painting, cooking, etc. You too can try your hands at any of these. Also, you should not limit yourself to these only as there is an enormous world out there waiting for you to explore. Unless you set out to find yourself, you cannot mark your territory.
Open your mind to all options, and dive into the past to see what you cherished as a child. Many a time, our naive childhood days have all the answers. There might be things you were good at or were famous for. Many kids love taking up challenges as this lights up their creative streak.
Another way to identify your skills is to see what gives you the most happiness. Countless things keep us occupied throughout the day, but some things make us lose track of time. These are what hint at our hidden talent.
Also, pay attention to the way you talk about certain things. Do you ramble about their details to your friends and family as this isn’t the case with everything else?
Make a note of everything that you enjoy doing. These things will navigate your way to your hidden skills and help you to identify yourself. There is a stark difference between being good at anything and actually enjoying doing it. For example, you may extend your help to others when asked, but offering to help is an entirely different thing when you aren’t even asked to do so. This shows your emphatic side, and your fondness to help people in need.
When you manage to identify your skills, work on them. Don’t chase perfection, fame or money rather strive to become an authority. The better you get at your skills, the brighter will be your chances of success. Don’t mistake money or fame with success. Your success should come as a result of your hard work and talent. There are no shortcuts to get there. Once you master the game, fame and money will follow.
The most significant thing you need to do is shift your focus on attaining your goals. Your goals and your wishes, not others, and also not the way others do it. Only you can grow yourself, your ambitions, your passions, and your skills. They are yours only, and eventually, they will come to light bringing you to the point where you vision yourself. Don’t lose faith and don’t be discouraged that you haven’t made it yet. All good things take time, they won’t happen overnight. They require a lot of work, hard work!
Be inspired with someone’s success rather than comparing it to yours or obsessing over it. Do your due diligence and surround yourself with literature that covers topics of how to achieve success and topics of your personal interest. Talk to people who are successful, listen to videos and interviews of people’s different success stories, journeys and backgrounds. Truly be inspired and hungry for success and happiness but don’t blind copy every single step, rather adjust it to your own story and circumstances. Last but not least, don’t forget to feel genuine joy and excitement for others and their success. There is enough room in this world for success and being jealous, envious or hateful will only keep you stuck in that low vibration. Gratitude, pure excitement, open heart and happiness for other people’s success will bring you the opportunity to experience many blessing including the success that you desire.
Don’t downgrade your efforts based on the parameters set by others. Your results are evidence of your efforts, the sleepless nights, and hard work. They are worth every bit, no matter how small they seem as compared to others. Every step you take brings you closer to the top, even if there are 1000 more left to climb till there. You are indeed closer than you were before.
“If you really look closely, most overnight successes took a long time.”
— Steve Jobs
The role of social media
The rise of social media and the internet tends to make people think of themselves as lesser as compared to their peers. Young people, mainly, follow trends without giving them a second thought. They jump on the social media rumble and deplore their self-esteem and self-respect. This, in turn, wrecks their mental health and has adverse effects on the formation of their character.
It’s important to stay true to yourself. There will always be people who are faring better than you in the given time. This shouldn’t dampen your spirits as you are moving at your pace. You have to be careful about how you manage your social media. There are many people out there who feel depressed because of their undue comparison with someone on social media.
“Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today.”
― Jordan B. Peterson, 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos
Things to do
The thing that holds the most significance is your satisfaction with yourself. Your judgments should be subjective without carrying the burden of other people’s opinions. Analyze your progress from where you started a year ago and where you currently stand. When you start looking at your success from this perspective, your success parameters will change. None of us can become complacent, nor can we be neglectful. Strive for betterment, but at the same time remain steadfast and appreciate yourself for how far you have come. Aim for more, but don’t ignore the moment. Dream big but stay connected to your reality simultaneously.
In the end, your happiness, and how accomplished you feel are what matter most. There is nothing else that should cross your mind when you start comparing yourself to others. Your goal has to be a better version of yourself and once this starts, you will realize all the negativity in your life is being replaced by positivity. You walk in your shoes which cannot be swapped by others. Your dreams are yours only, and no one can dream them the way you can.
